The bitterest of ironies is that the people who make us feel the most accepted, secure, and whole are the same people who make us feel the most rejected, unstable, and heartbroken.” Gume Laurel.
It hurts to be in an unstable relationship. Nobody wants that. It’s better to be alone and know that you have to be strong all by yourself than to have someone you cannot rely on.
So many people out there just want to be in a relationship for the pleasure and flare of having a plus one. I’m not saying a relationship should be bombed with talks of commitment alone all the time but having stability in a relationship helps you grow. It also increases the viability of the relationship.
Having someone to love and call your own shouldn’t just be part of your Facebook profile. It should lead to much more than saying you are in a relationship.
Being in an unstable relationship can be really exhausting because there is usually no agreement between the two parties. Sometimes this could be as a result of different interests between the individuals or it could even be an external influence from family and friends. Other times, it’s just a case of ego.
The factors leading to an unstable relationship vary so you’ll never know. But one thing is certain: a relationship is always threatened when no one wants to come to a compromise.
It is important to add that being in an unstable relationship doesn’t necessarily mean that either of the people involved is emotionally unstable, no. It is very possible to have two very emotionally stable people in an unstable relationship.
Some therapists associate instability in relationships to behaviours such as sadness, panic attacks, despair, depression, and anxiety. If these behaviours occur repeatedly in an individual, there is a need to seek help or your relationship might be heading for the rocks.
So how do you know that your relationship is unstable?
There’s no trust
You should trust the person you love to fight and protect the interest of your relationship. He or she should be dependable. You should be able to hold on to their words and not get scared that they will do the exact opposite of what they say. Without trust, there will be nothing to cling to.
Everyone holds a grudge
I’ve had quite a number of experiences to know, and without a doubt say that the more luggage you carry in life, the more unstable you’ll become. Until eventually, you get sick of carrying the baggage, and then you just fall down.
Let’s face it; being unforgiving is a burden that wears you out the more. Every passing minute you hold on to that pain, you lose grounds in your relationship.
No one wants to take responsibility for their action
Coming to terms with the consequences of their action is something that unstable people find difficult to handle. They often don’t have enough emotional strength to face the consequences of their actions nor to take responsibility for something they’ve done. So, they usually act as the victim to handle life this way.
You experience more bad times than good times
Every relationship has its highs and lows but that doesn’t mean being in love is torture. You are supposed to have a fabulous time. If the times you spend together are often sad and full of arguments: that could be a pointer to a lack of stability in your relationship.
Although at first you probably won’t think of these pointers as a big deal: but these changes in a person are often disruptive. Don’t only be on the lookout for the big problems. The little ones matter too.