I thought I would always love you.
I had concluded my search for love was over. It was you and no one else.
When you stopped caring and I gave you the space I thought you needed, I expected you to return but not with a replacement for me. But, you did.
The hurt I felt could not be described even if new words were added to all the languages in existence. I didn’t think I could rise above the depression I plunged into but I did.
I am stronger than you ever thought I would be. I am stronger than I ever knew.
This isn’t me saying I don’t love you, no. This is me saying I don’t love you enough to stay. I have moved on to more.
This is not something I planned. I didn’t give myself a deadline to fall out of love with you or care less about you, it just happened.
I slept and woke up one morning and the feeling was gone. I could swear someone had snatched my heart out of my chest and gotten away with it, but I was wrong. My heart was intact and neither was I having a heart failure. I was perfect but you were gone.
Just like that!
Little by little, the images I kept in my head for so long was nowhere to be found. They had simply disappeared along with my tears.
When I close my eyes at night, it is not your face I saw. Your face has been replaced with a beautiful peace. You are back to where you started, perhaps even farther away from me.
You have become the person I never thought you would become. Nothing more than casual, ordinary and regular.
I believe now that the heart truly has a mind of its own and when we least expect to heal from all the hurt and pain we’ve been through, that’s when it actually heals from the inside out.
With every day that passed, I had lost a certain fraction of the feeling. With each sunrise and sunset, I broke free from the strong bond we built together. A bond I thought will last through all eternity!
I always thought I would believe every word you said to me.
Your words were like pillars holding each brick lay from the foundations to the rooftops. Your words were concrete rods holding me, holding you and everything we stood for in the right place.
Now your words hold nothing. Your words are like the blades of the grass, green, firm and promising on the outside but completely unreliable on the inside.
I cannot hold on to fleeting promises, they do no one any good.
I cannot tell how this love went with the winds but somewhere along the line, I got tired. Somewhere in between you going away and coming back for me, it all stopped making sense.
Somewhere in between the carelessness and indifference that you always portrayed whenever my emotions were concerned, that was the time you stopped being the one.
Those missed calls you ignored and those messages you never had the chance to reply, those were my building blocks to climbing out of my obsession for you.
Though this may not be the best time to apportion blames and unearth buried grudges. But I still feel the need to say this;
We had a love so strong. It was the most beautiful thing to behold. We both thought it would last forever and that was our only mistake.
You thought I would always love you and I thought I would never move on, but we both thought wrong.
Maybe this end was not what we expected, but we can’t deny that we are here. There is definitely no go back from this point.