It was exactly 11:22 pm when the mail came in with a rather loud notification. I wasn’t asleep else I would have been transported back to reality with the sound of that beep.
I bet the organization sent the mail that late, hoping I was fast asleep. Out of the goodness of their heart, they didn’t want to subject me to the horror of a sleepless night.
At least I would wake up tomorrow morning to the news of not being accepted as a delegate for the program. I will also have the whole day getting used to the fact that somehow I was not good enough.That was better than tossing and turning all night wondering what my worth had become or if I had any worth at all.
That’s very considerate of them. I thought as I closed the email, switched off the phone and closed my eyes to sleep.
Feeling like a failure isn’t something you get over that quickly. I have failed a couple of times in my life but I still haven’t gotten used to it. It is like getting burnt with fire, the pain is always new. Your brain reacts as though it is the first time, no matter how many times it happens.
I am not used to failing. I simply don’t know to behave when I don’t win.
During the early days of my life, there was actually nothing to really win or fail at. Everything was done on a general level. Even when the distinguishing line was drawn between the winners and losers, I was too busy having so much fun to notice.
But as the years went by, going through high school and college, I began to fully understand what making an attempt at something and failing is all about.
Failure is something I had to come to terms with
When I didn’t excel at something, it was a reality I had to face. I couldn’t run from it. It didn’t give me time to prepare for the shock. I could not close my eyes and pretend it was a dream.
I had failed and that was it!
Failure wakes us up from our slumber
When we fail, we are introduced to a whole new reality and a different dimension to life. Failure introduces us to the other side of the coin. It reminds us that we are not perfect and so we should do more if we want to attain perfection.
Aside from the awful feeling we have deep down in our stomach when we fail, there is also this trigger that heads straight to our brain, reminding us that there is so much room for improvement.
Failure defines your path
It tells you that there are things you are good at and others which you will suck at no matter how much you try. Don’t get me wrong practice makes perfect only when there is an interest to keep practicing.
The good thing about failing is that it categorizes your abilities. After you have tried all you think you can do, you will know where your strength lies, where you are average and where you have weaknesses.
When you fail you become a stronger person
The way I see it, you have no choice. It’s just like the popular saying “once you hit rock bottom, there’s no other way to go but up.”
After receiving a really big hit, you don’t just sit there moping. You simply suck it up. That is what makes you a complete human being and a success. It is your refusal to stay down that grants you access to an extraordinary realm of strength.
I don’t love to fail but when I do fail, I always look on the bright side.