A lot of ugly things happen behind closed doors.
It is a reality we cannot run away from and most times, it is closer to us than we think. Sometimes we don’t notice because we are not being observant. Other times we just want to turn a blind eye to mind our business.
Going through an abusive lifestyle could happen to anyone. It could be a close friend dying in silence or a sibling who is too ashamed to say a word.
If you happen to be going through an abusive situation, I want you to know that you can help yourself. No matter how difficult the situation may seem. You really don’t have to wait till someone knocks on your door to ask what happened last night or wait for the preacher to pick you before the congregation before you stop making excuses for being maltreated.
As humans, we have a tendency to overlook certain behaviors especially when these behaviours come from the people we love. It could be that the reason why you haven’t gotten out of a toxic relationship is simply that you are honestly ignorant it is happening to you.
You simply don’t know it has gotten that bad!
It is a possibility because you have already convinced yourself that being in a relationship is hard, very hard.
You wake up every morning and you get comfortable in the situation. Your mother had a hard time with your father and so did your aunt with her husband. And just yesterday, a colleague in the office complained too. How different could your situation be?
It is just the way it is. It seems you have to go through your own difficult time too before it gets better.
That is what you may think, but that’s a lie.
You don’t have to go through pain so you can have a good time later. Stop accepting the negative situation and start looking for a way out now.
Keep the shame aside.
There’s no part of your body or your emotions that should be bruised simply because you are ashamed. I am not saying it is going to be easy talking about it even if it is to your closest friends or your mom.
You will feel embarrassed. You may even be ridiculed. You may get hit back with a couple ‘I told you so!’ You may be the topic of discussion for a few weeks before something more interesting takes over eventually. But no mockery or insult is worth you wasting your life.
You will get over the shame. You will get past the agony too. You will heal from the pain.
Start talking to someone and you will be surprised at how much help and support you will receive.
If you think you have it good, you can have it better
Is it the sex? You may think you have it good? I tell you it gets better. Sometimes we don’t want to be alone. Just the thought of not having someone to call when it gets cold at night could make us endure all kinds of treatments.
It could even be certain nice gestures such as bouquets of flowers and nice dinners and candles. Trust me, all these get more satisfying when you don’t have to worry about paying back with your face used as a punching bag later.
The story isn’t always the same in the end
You don’t predict your future based on the experiences of other people. Learn to always keep a positive front, no matter what! That’s why you should take charge of your own situation right this minute before it gets worst.
It can only get better only if you are willing to try.