It is in human nature to always search for someone who understands them. A person who feels the weight of our worry. A shoulder to lean on in trying times.
We feel the pains of others as if we wore their shoes and we sympathize with them. We go extra miles to make sure they don’t pass through difficult times alone. And when it’s time to tackle our own pains and our own struggles, we tend to depend more on other people than we depend on ourselves. When they don’t give us the same attention we gave them, we despair.
Often times, we are there for everybody else but ourselves.
We have to understand that no matter how loved we are, there are times we will be alone. No matter the kind of people around us, there are times when we have to be there for ourselves. There are moments when we have to support ourselves and be truly sincere about what makes us different.
Being there for you means investing in yourself
When we want to be available for the people we care about, we invest time and energy aside other resources. When you are truly there for someone, you give them a part of you that runs deep. Often we make sacrifices just to make them feel better. You need to have that same concern for yourself too.
Not many people will understand why you will make certain decisions. But you have to invest in who you are now in order to become the person you want to be.
You have to listen to yourself
As human beings with a dependent nature, we always want to be heard. We want someone to listen to us, not just for the listening sake, but to fully comprehend us.
You may have people who are willing to listen to you at all times. But you will have to learn to listen to yourself too and not just speak.
It is important that you become attuned to how you speak and how you express yourself. Just like you would want another person to study you, make time to study yourself as well.
Understand your body language and figure out what your needs are. Granted, you will need other people to make you feel better, but they can’t help you if you don’t want to be helped.
Sometimes being there for yourself may require making yourself absent and being silent with your thoughts. Other times you just need to encourage yourself and keep moving on.
Being there for yourself requires honesty
Sometimes, telling yourself “I’m fine” is nothing but a call for help. You don’t have to run from your problems instead you need to walk boldly towards them. Grab other people who you can trust and who can help and walk with them all together.
If the truth will hurt now but help you in the nearest future then you should be honest enough to say it to yourself. There’s nothing as futile as self-deceit.
If you can’t be vulnerable with yourself then who else can you be vulnerable with? Create a safe space where you feel free to be who you really are without feeling any shame or having any reservations.
Being there for yourself means not being too hard on you
Love your strengths and weaknesses. They are those things that complete you.
It’s okay to be weak sometimes. Realize that being there for yourself also means you need to give you some credit even if no one else does. Protect your thoughts and your dreams. Protect your values.
Grow at your pace. Life is not a competition. Give yourself a break because, in all truth, you deserve it.