We are all not meant to settle down and get married. We all can’t or we all don’t want to be. Perhaps we have been in relationships that didn’t work out and didn’t meet our expectations. We just wanted to be independent and free. We still wanted to retain our voice and identity without having someone impose theirs on us.
Being single has its challenges though. As social animals we always want someone we can lean on for support. We want someone to have our backs and be there for us. Yes we want companionship. But it is always better to seek after the right companionship. There is no point being with someone who doesn’t understand and help us find the pathways for becoming better versions of ourselves.
It is pointless and selfish trying to dance to societal tunes because we want to be a part of conventional notion that when we reach a certain age we have to give singleness up and be with someone. So take a minute and understand what singleness is all about.
It is about knowing what we want
Some people take baby steps to settling down. Some take no steps at all, they just remain in that circle. You just can’t figure out that part of knowing what you want after you have committed to someone. What do you really want out of life? Will singleness help you attain that faster. Will singleness or commitment to someone stand in the way? It is about knowing what you want after all and when you are single there is time to discover that.
It is about listening to your heart
Let no one make those big decisions for you. That is why you are an adult now. You should be responsible for yourself and your future. Being single helps you define that responsibility. You simply owe it to yourself before you owe it another.
It is about identifying with your growth
What would matter at 21 may not matter at 40. The time you have now to do those things you want may not be available for you when you turn 35. We all mature differently. And perhaps you simply want to travel, you really want to escape and do certain things for yourself before you start thinking of another person.
It is about forgiveness
You may have been hurt before. You may have set your foot on a wrong path. And you don’t want to get others involved in your shortcomings or you don’t think another person will be a favorable companion in your journey. Singleness afford you the time to heal, to observe with clarity and define your focus. It is not simply about loyalty because it is what you owe yourself, it is about healing and cleansing your soul before you can embrace what next.
It is about searching
Trust me it is hard finding that right one. Compatibility in an age of so many options is hard. You are swamped with so many choices that it can be hard knowing if the person you are with is the right person for you. Call it “gamophobia” or whatever you want but searching for the right one matters. You may have seen people get it wrong, you may have seen even your parents become victims of that mistake of not choosing the right partner. You just want to make that mistake. You want to find the right person you can commit yourself to.
Singleness is a phase and a process. It is about you after all. And if you are not in a relationship, enjoy the time you have with yourself. It is a thing worth cherishing. Through these you can evaluate how to move forward and how you can find your own happiness!