There is this thing about love. It looks so beautiful and attractive from a distance that we want to experience it. But the more we try to attain it, it becomes elusive. Of course we are all gifted with the capacity to love and being loved. Yet it takes a lot to find the true love we desire in a modern world. Here is why:
There is so much taking our time
We are all living busy lives. There is so much taking our time. It would have been great to have the time and space to appreciate those who care about us and offer them a piece of ourselves. Of course things like financial difficulties, career goals and doubts for the future could set in and stop us discovering the better part of someone.
We have been hurt before
Yes someone has messed with our feelings before and hurt us. Such deep scars and disappointments could stand in the way of trying to consider loving again.
It’s a selfish world anyways
Love is about giving. It is really not about taking. Most times we place so much importance on things like money and possessions that we forget the moral values that could direct us to finding true love.
Not appreciating the depth of what love is
We need to communicate, we need to forgive, we need to learn about the other person when it comes to love. But now it is so easy not to put in the effort when you have technology and social media standing in the way.
Commitment is hard
You are looking at the alternative of meeting so many people rather than just spoiling it and committing to one person. Commitment is hard when you look at the so many options waiting to be explored.
We are afraid
We don’t want to be broken. We don’t want to be the victim. We believe we can get more from our environment when we shy away from the responsibilities of a true relationship. No one wants to be used after all.
Somehow we have come to identify with being alone
Being alone is not so much of a problem anymore in a money and career driven world. We think we really don’t need anyone and can be self-sufficient anyway. Letting someone into your life can seem a challenge when you are used to being independent and alone already.
Not looking for what is right
There is so much we look for in a partner now that we ignore solid reasons to be with someone such as their personality and character. Ephemeral features in a partner such as how good-looking they are, how much money make, the places they go, the houses they live or the possessions they have come to the fore instead.
It is hard to trust anyone
The world is a mean place. Entrusting anyone with our lives or emotions is a scary thing to do. It could put us in a really vulnerable position. But love doesn’t work without us trusting someone and giving them the space to impress us. Most of the relationships these days are superficial and not able to build trust could alter why we would find love and having a solid relationship.
Yes it is hard to find true love since there are so many points standing in the way as highlighted above. But trust me we are humans after all. Life can’t just be robotic. Finding true love may be hard but it is essential to our personal development and happiness. Let’s leave this piece here. We will learn more in another article.