This post was previously published on goodmenproject.com
We always get it wrong. We always think love is enough and should be the benchmark for a healthy relationship. But there is more. You must have met those who are doing great in their relationship; it takes time and energy for a great relationship to work, it takes more than just love.
Falling in love is a great experience and an interesting period. But you should read this if you think love was why your relationship fell apart.
Everyone struggles in relationships.
No matter how much you loved or were loved, everyone struggles in relationships, everyone has a hurdle to cross and you may not have dealt with these hurdles hard enough. It wasn’t that they didn’t love you, it’s just that there were other elements that made the love simply fade away.
Expectations got torn.
Sometimes we expect so much from a relationship or the other person that we become disappointed if such expectations are not met. According to Adam Legas founder of Nanohydr8, “A relationship may not just succeed because it was all on your own terms.” What if expectations were adjusted?
You were not aware of your feelings or how to voice them.
Yes you had emotions to express, but never knew how to communicate these emotions. Perhaps you needed some time to sort them out, however it took so long for the other person to understand what you had to say. Finding the right words could help communication and let the other person into your world.
A little bit of compromising would do.
You loved the other person, but they were going to mess with your plans and alter what you had in mind. It was so hard to turn around and allow them in or fit into your plans for the future. Yes you never saw them as the one who would have made your future goals a reality. Love may not have been good enough in such moments.
You needed some emotional subtlety.
It wasn’t as if you didn’t care for the other person, you just didn’t know how to express your emotions or know what gap in their world you were meant to fill. Your partner shouldn’t be overtly voicing out how they feel to you. Sometimes understanding those unspoken words would have helped. Yes listening hard enough would have mattered.
You were not willing to deal with conflict.
Perhaps you are afraid of conflicts and only appreciate times when they are great. Dealing with conflicts can be a headache for some. Working through issues in a relationship is more important than making a disappearing act.
You believed love was good enough.
Unfortunately, it takes more than being romantic at heart for a relationship to work. It takes more than simply loving to go through the obstacles. But sometimes you hold on to this notion that enough love would conquer it all. Perhaps you thought showing more love rather than letting go would be what would fix things. Other problems won’t fall by the wayside if you are not willing to develop the character your relationship deserves.