Love they say is pain and I am a believer.
However the level of pain you bear in any relationship depends on you. In my opinion there is the general hurt that we all inherit or sign up for the moment we open our hearts to other people. Of course you have to give room for mistakes to someone who has to learn how to love you in the first place and then there are other levels of pain which I dare say are completely avoidable.
As vulnerable and as open-minded as you are when it comes to love, believe it or not you can determine how much pain you get to bear and it’s quite easy.
Love from a distance
Sorry to burst your burbles sweetheart but not all relationships can exist in a closely knitted pattern. Some don’t just work without resulting in heartaches and regrets. That person may not love you as much as you love him or her but that doesn’t mean you can’t love at all.
Nothing stops you from reaching out to them and contributing to their lives anytime you have the chance. They will appreciate you and you will stay happy. It’s a win situation on both sides!
Have something to offer
Most times what we call quality time is actually too much time wasted achieving nothing. If you really love someone, every minute you spend together should have some positive impact. Whether work or play, it should be aimed at moving forward.
When you have nothing to offer and you are always available to do nothing, it won’t be long before such a person gets bored and starts avoiding you. You will definitely feel bad but then you have to be willing to take the blame.
Don’t be too available
If you do not have a life outside your relationship then get ready to get hurt really bad. It’s actually inevitable and here is why; we were created to find our purpose and pursue it with great passion not congest another person’s path in the name of love.
Get a life and stop hurting yourself thinking someone owes you an apology for living theirs.
How often do you make certain compromises for the people you love? And when you did how often do you like the result in the end? If your answer is no for most of the time then you need to start acting differently.
You need to stop being in a hurry to break a principle just to prove that you care because there are other ways to express love. Sometimes all you need to do is put your feet down and do the right thing even when it doesn’t go down well with the next person.
Learn from past mistakes
As obvious as this point is we tend to forget to use it especially when it feels like we have reached the end of the road. I am not saying you should stop giving benefits of doubt or second chances but remember that a mistake is only a mistake when it happens the first time.
When a mistake can’t stop reoccurring it certainly means you have allowed it.
I bet you didn’t see that one coming but yes, sometimes the only way you can prevent yourself from getting hurt is by leaving. No extra goodbyes or lingering hugs or one more kiss on the forehead, just go and don’t look back.
I didn’t say it was going to be easy but it will save you from a whole lot of pain. Love has so much more to offer than pain.