This post was previously published on thoughtcatalog.com
Believing in someone is difficult. It can be as difficult as allowing oneself to fall in love.
We sometimes think that the measure of a successful relationship is the amount of love that we feel for that person and their reciprocation of that love for us.
However, it is not necessarily about love. It could be that it is about trust. The trust may be the foundation for the relationship.
1. Trust Starts the Journey
If you want to love someone, you really need to put your all into it. It is more of a binary. You are either for that person or against that person. You are in love with them or you are not.
This binary approach can be compared to the example of a criminal defense attorney. The attorney is hired to be there for the client, regardless of feelings. It is a choice to support the client, once the contract has been drawn up and it is decided that the attorney will represent the client.
In the same way, trust is a decision. The feeling of love may inspire you to move forward with the relationship, but the trust is a decision. If you want to care for someone, you have to start by trusting that person.
You need to believe that they will not intentionally harm you and that they will be there to care for you in the same way that you care for them.
2. Trust Provides Balance
Trust helps to provide the balance to find what you truly desire. Emotional balance is necessary if you intend to discover who the other person truly is, as well as the boundaries of your relationship. Trust allows you to embark on that discovery and grow with that adventure.
3. Trust Helps to Define One’s Identity
Trust helps you find your own identity in the relationship, as well as the identity of the one you love, and the identity of the two of you intertwined in that relationship.
It is not a flaw when someone trusts, but rather, it is a sign of strength. It is strength of the individual and strength of the relationship.
Finding one’s identity also means that you will have the opportunity to define the expectations that you may have for your partner. This also provides your loved one with the opportunity to define his or her expectations of you. Going through this exercise allows you to believe in and value yourself more in the relationship.
The act of trusting helps us evaluate ourselves and retain an identity even when we move forward in a relationship steeped in love. It provides us with that foundation of strength that helps us to be better people and a better couple.
4. Trust Gives Birth to Authenticity
Trust is a solid quality, and it gives birth to honesty and integrity. Trust allows you to focus on the great thing you already have with your relationship.
Many times we may attempt to ignore the good things that we have in our lives and focus on things that may or may not be real. By taking active steps in focusing on the aspects of our relationship that have value, we will strengthen our relationship through active trust.
Trust risks exposing us to issues of truth, and it can be scary, but approaching it with a solid foundation, alongside our partner, helps us to build authenticity and strength.
5. Trust Defines Peace in the Relationship
Many times the willingness to seek trust also demonstrates a willingness to seek peace.
When there are differences of opinion (or even disputes) within a relationship, trust allows you both to be guided toward that peaceful resolution. In this way, you are at ease with yourself as well as your partner. In all likelihood, your partner feels the same way.
6. Trust Serves as a Security Blanket
Trust is what helps you find acceptance. It is not simply about giving, but it is also about what you can be assured of in the relationship.
Trust is a guide to the location you seek. Trust assures you that you can be hopeful. It helps to provide clarity about the things that you want and the things that you likely deserve. Trust helps you to find that path of life going right. Even if you hit a bump in the road, trust provides a way to get through it.
7. Trust Results in Progress
Trust offers you the chance to halt the relationship or to steer it forward.
Similar to the binary decision to trust or not to trust, you have an option of moving forward with the relationship or halting the relationship. If you have decided to trust your partner, you are likely willing to improve yourself and improve the relationship. If you discard trust, you discard that guide along the path that helps you through these difficult times. What is left?