This post was previously published on thoughtcatalog.com
It is so easy to ignore the red flags at the beginning of a relationship with a narcissist. Narcissists are great at making a good first impression on others. They are charming. But you shouldn’t be deceived with their attractiveness. They can be self-centered and self-focused. Here are 8 things that will happen when you fall in love with a narcissist.
1. You Start Believing You’re Always Wrong
If the relationship is not working you are to blame and not them since they rarely take responsibility for their flaws. It is a pain waiting for an apology from a narcissist, you are stuck with someone who feels they are amazing and doing a lot of good in the relationship.
2. You Find Yourself Praising Them Over Nothing
Yes, we all deserve some praise and compliment. But it shouldn’t be what the relationship is about. Falling in love with a narcissist puts you in a position where you have to show attention and compliment them always. You seem to have to notice every progress they make. This sort of makes them excited when you can uplift their ego and tell them how great they were.
3. You Are Always The Evildoer
The narcissist doesn’t want to be portrayed in the negative light. They are actually willing to project their own guilt to others and play the victim. They always want to be loved. It may seem a herculean task to love them since you would always be the one doing the wrong and hurting. It is just their way of wanting to be loved and protected in the relationship.
4. You Have To Always Cater To Them
If you are not treating them in a special and unique way then you aren’t a great partner. Narcissists feel there is something interesting about them and they always want you to acknowledge their strong quality.
5. Your Own Voice Begins To Disappear
Your voice in the relationship may not be heard. It is simply about what they know and how ridiculous they could make you feel if you try to correct them for what they don’t know. They seem to know it all and you shouldn’t try to match their wit.
6. You Don’t Get Any Credit, Especially When You Deserve It
Every relationship has its high and lows but you still need to be appreciated for your strengths rather than be overly criticized for your flaws. Yes you deserve some credit if you are putting in the effort to make the relationship work, unfortunately when you are in love with a narcissist don’t expect to get the credit you deserve. They seem to miss the fun points in a relationship.
7. You Become Irrelevant
Even when you are in love and display your affection to them, it seems what you do is irrelevant. A narcissist actually takes advantage of your emotions and feels you are in a vulnerable state when you are in love with them. They really don’t invest the necessary time it takes to know you and appreciate you.
8. Your Life Becomes A Frustrating, Depressed Mess
A genuine relationship should make you happy and add value to your world. But unfortunately, there could always be something that unsettles you every now and then. The narcissist doesn’t pay attention to those emotional details about you. It could be that they forgot your birthday or to congratulate you for that well deserved promotion. It doesn’t matter. If it’s not about them then it didn’t really happen.