I haven’t really taken all the time I need to take a proper survey but I can tell you this for sure, and this is not to scare you but its what’s most obtainable these days but hey who says I’m always right; you could do a similar research too and find out but as you do so, I’d strongly advice that you start with yourself.
The whole idea of having a relationship whether monogamous or polygamous doesn’t sound appealing to many people now mainly because its values have been reduced to one night stands and bets taken over bottles of beer. I mean before now, being in love was all we ever looked forward to but despite the maturity in terms of age and all the courage we thought we had summoned, it still feels far from our reach.
Somewhere along the line that hope of chasing after the girl of dreams and being wooed by our crush was kind of dashed to the wall and though we stubbornly held on to the happy endings in our Cinderella stories, we can’t help but admit that there is so much doubt in our hearts.
What’s the need to being swept off your feet when you can’t have a free fall? It doesn’t make sense when it’s not even going to last for more than a week. The whole process is an exhausting routine and after a while, you just realize all you wanted to do was run away from a life of loneliness but that’s exactly where you are; in your bed with a stranger!
You are scared
Being afraid can be a good thing sometimes and presently, it’s a good place to be, especially now that a lot of people do not know what they want. It’s much better to stay single than have a series of heartbreaks and rebound relationships. Your heart is precious and it should be treated so if you are not sure, you best protect yourself but again you could always take a leap of faith.
There are only few encouraging examples
I always thought everyone had the opportunity to love and be loved, to want and be wanted for who they are. I thought every human had that privilege but it just occurred to me that not everyone gets to have that experience so it’s no wonder that there are so many broken homes and broken relationships producing children with so much hurt that when they become adults they can’t bring themselves to understand the true meaning of healthy relationships or how to function in them.
There just seems to be a circle of revenge and ego that there is of truth and loyalty. Nobody seems to bother about how the other is; it’s all about the momentary pleasure. No one craves for the real or durable feeling of pure affection and the creation of beautiful memories because to most of us, it no longer exists. Somewhere along the line, it just vanished into thin air; love now is nothing but materialism, no heart and no soul.
You can’t stand the deceit
It’s very easy to get discouraged about relationships if you are all about being sincere with your feelings. Nine out of ten of the people you meet see relationships as some sort of game between the sexes which strategy can be employed to make sure you are not the fool at the end of the day.
So you see two people who claim to love each other but at the same time find it perfectly normal to keep each other uninformed about their growth and crisis. They have not let their defenses down so there is no vulnerability, just two people co-habiting in a space pilling secrets and there is just nothing admirable about that.
This may look like a helpless situation but it isn’t and that’s because there’re people like you and me who want more out of our relationships. It is very possible if we keep the standards.