To The One Whose Love I Cannot Return

I see the way you look at me and I can only imagine the hurt you feel knowing I may never see you the same way you see me.

I know how long you wait for me just to walk behind me while I struggle to maintain the needed distance.

With my silence you have had your best conversations; you have always presented your best speeches without any applause.

I have spat on your face and stepped on all the nerves you’ve got but you have never kept a grudge, when it comes to me, you have an intentional amnesia for all the wrongs I have done.

I watch you go numb from breaking your own heart repeatedly; you fall to the ground and stand back up only to fall down again.

If I could, I would love you already.

I would hold your hand as tightly as you held on to mine. I would smile back at you and pull you close to me whenever I had the chance.

To the one whose love I cannot accept.

You will have to stop and pick up your heart from my feet for I fear that might crush it, even though it is not my intention to hurt you.

You have come with a request that I cannot grant for my heart is no longer mine; I too have laid it down for the desire of another.

Forgive me, I didn’t plan it so, it was not deliberate that I put your kind heart through such agony. It is only but a circle that we must go through until we find that which is ours.

Do not try to persuade me, do not patronize me, it is a quest that will yield no results and I cannot help you. In this struggle for my heart, I am as helpless as you are.

When it comes to love, no one can tell who, when or where it happens. We have no power to question the desires of our heart; just like yours, mine took me by surprise.

I cannot love you out of pity neither can I compensate you with my heart for that will be a journey of pretense, a road which leads to nothingness and pain.

To the one whose love I cannot return…

I want you to know that you are a beautiful soul and do not for a second think that you are not good enough.

We all have different races to run; you just need to find the right track to excel.

I may not love you as you want me to love you, but don’t ever make yourself unworthy. You deserve the best and you should never stop until you find it.

I only want you to keep hoping, without hope it all ends and you have nothing. Keep the hope that you will still find someone who will set your heart on fire and do all that I couldn’t do.

You may not feel so but you have been nothing short of a blessing to me, I only wish that you will let me reward you in the little ways that I can.

You have taught me the purest form of love, to love so selflessly and unconditionally, to be patient and true till the very end.

Though I may not take the whole of you, every lesson you have taught me will always be there to remind me of you and though you may not see it, I carry a big piece of you with me all the time.

To the one whose love I cannot return…

Thank you for showing me true bravery, you were never afraid to care even when you were not sure if I cared at all.