This is What Happens When You Let Others Define Who You Are

There is so much talk these days on individuality. The world seems to draw everyone’s attention to the need to recognize one’s self. You are told to search inwards and discover your real self, be comfortable in your own skin and to love who you are irrespective of the opinions of others.

The ability to define yourself is imperative in today’s world because it is essential to everything that concerns you. Your potential to achieve what you most desire is directly related to your self definition; whether or not you feel up to the task depends on how you have rated yourself.

Your definition of self encompasses a wide range of things, self esteem, self value, self worth, self confidence levels, self image and so on. Your definition of self controls your thoughts, words and actions. It determines how you carry yourself and how far you will go.

What impact you are likely to make and what legacy you will leave behind eventually is attached to how you have defined yourself. In this undoubtedly lies great power and great influence which should be handled with much caution.

Unfortunately most people either consciously or unconsciously have surrendered that immense power of self definition to family, friends and most recently the social media.

Here are some of the dangers you face when you let others define you;

That which defines you dictates what you become

We are conversant with the success story of Dr Glenn Cunningham who had a fire accident that made his lower body motionless and was declared crippled, but he ended up running the world’s fastest mile.

Also, Walt Disney who was fired from a newspaper company saying he lacked an imagination and had no good ideas.  Soon,Walt became one of the world’s most celebrated entrepreneur, cartoonist, animator, voice actor and film producer even after facing major setbacks when he began his own company.

These people were not the only people who had a dream or a vision in their time; there were others who had great ideas too, whose stories were not told.

The reason we get to hear about Bill Gates, Chris Gardener and Colonel Sanders etc, is because they didn’t let the opinion of others whether professional or unprofessional define them. They knew the power that lies in believing in your abilities even when more experienced people think you cannot do it.

When you let other things such as your present condition, your environment or the opinion of people define you, they dictate who you will become. And once that power leaves you, you lose your inspiration, you lose your path and ultimately, you lose your purpose.

When your relationships define you, you may never know your true self.

A lot of times our happiness comes from the people around us, how valuable we think we are to them and how much they love us. We are thrilled by the mere fact that they would do anything to make sure they don’t lose us.

So when something goes wrong with our relationships we find it difficult to bounce back, heal and forge ahead because the only happiness we knew was with them.

I always say, it is essential that we establish long lasting relationships with others and compliment people as much as we can, but while we do that, let our ultimate source of joy and happiness, our pride and beauty must be gotten first from ourselves.

That way you are not lonely,whether you are alone or not

When you let people define your life, you lose your ability to choose

With countless ideas everywhere concerning what living the perfect life is all about, you must be careful to discern what you really want out of life.

There is no reason why others should get to define what you look like and how  you should live your life. That’s their definition and you can’t be expected to live up to it. You have a definition of  yourself and that’s the only one that should matter.

When your identity is gotten from no one but yourself, it’s easier to maintain a healthier and happier life. Your choices and decisions are vital to your existence. You alone should get to make your choices. No one else!